Man made media ,movies and such always depicts on how happy you are when you are in love.Showing how, you, an independent man/ woman who had been alone all this time ,who had thought about abandoning humanity itself because you yourself never thought of having such childish emotions, such as love and compassion but suddenly when you met this one person, everything changed. You, who had closed your heart, cutting bonds because you wanted too, even building walls just to protect yourself from this unknown feeling that fluctuates in this heart of yours.Those walls of insecurity, fear of being hurt, all shattered by this person.
You ,who always depend on yourself ,suddenly want to rely on this person.
You, who always pampered yourself, suddenly want to be pampered by this person.
You, who always trust no one except yourself, suddenly trust this person more than yourself, even when this person is hurting you.
Oh, how happy we are, to rely, to be pampered and to trust. But then , this person that you rely on , that same person you trust, hurts you.
Those long and long awaited conversation that you have turns into a boring and dull one ,
" heyyyyyyyy " turns to "yo",
" okay" turns to "k"
Even the smallest thing can turn into a fight.That colorful life of yours turns black and white all of the sudden.Nothing excites you anymore,not even your fav food and beverages.All of those sad songs that you can relate,all of those sleepless night because of crying ,all of the romantic movies that reminds you of them , all of those advice from your friend,everything, reminds you of them.You,one who was strong , now is as fragile as ever .This one person which invades your heart , the same person who can give you 1001 feelings are also the one who can hurt you the most , crushed your confidence , make you doubt yourself .Those suffocating feelings that you felt when everything has turn to sour when you remember this one person is just someone you just met but is so special , this one person changes from stranger, to best friends , to lovers and back to stranger. But then , nothing can be changed , because you give up on this person , or they gave up on you ,and you accept it the way it is (or not). You cried every night because of letting this person slips out your wall of insecurity by showing your naked emotions ,giving nothing but honesty but getting heartbroken as a result .You start to build those wall ,depends on no one but yourself , pampering yourself because you are special ,trusting no one.But then , suddenly out of nowhere ,this other person gave you a hell lot of other feelings ,crushing this wall ,giving you pure euphoria like the previous one .
Then, you ask yourself once again , To love or not to love ?
and the cycle perpetuates
to love
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